Muse : You forgot

Self : Huh?

Muse : You came up with a post on Manmohan Singh’s birthday, on Dr.Kalam’s birthday & on World Food Day & on World Sight week or whatever etc . But how could you forgot Her Birthday

Self : Ash? Well I thought someone else will do a post on her.

Muse : Doesn’t excuse you. You still forgot Herrrrrr And Muse started looking like a dementor in a Harry Potter movie.

Self : Shivering. Whats this Vaastu Shastra? I thought Muse was supposed to inspire not terrorise.

Muse : Well Ash is Inspiration. And Inspiration is Ash. And when you forget my roots, don’t expect me to be pleased

Hmmm well here is one to Ash and Shahrukh (you never know with muse, I dont want it to terrorise me tommorrow with You forgot Hisssssssssss Birthday.)

Belated birthday wishes Ash
Hope you had a great bash
Hope many records you smash
And not remain just a flash
like that Malika brash

Shahrukh hope u too have a great splash
Both, Please dont make my muse clash,
Then my life would simply crash
No Muse means no Cash
Hmmm Re.Malika have I been rash?

PS : To find out if my muse is a fan of Malika,
Right now, I have to make a dash

posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 12:06 PM

1. What is the room temperature we both are comfortable in. (9 out of 10 you will like AC during the night and your spouse wont or the other way round.)

2.What time do you sleep and wake up. (Think its dumb? Ask and you will be amazed)

3. My parents are not perfect. Please love them and tolerate them What you want me to love your parents too??? And I should consider their suggestions while making my decisions??? What do you mean by being polite to your friends? And how will you treat my friends?

4.What do you watch on TV or is it ok if we have different tv and watch different programmes.Similarly, do we have to do everything together? Shopping, movies etc.

5.If its a holiday will you like to prefer to go out more or slouch around the house.

6.Do you read books. What do you read. If its the same choice,decide who gets to read it first. If one reads and other doesnt, decide what the other will do when one reads.

7. Everyone loves music. Find out the volume the spouse prefers to hear it in.

8. How much of your salary do you spend on other family, past loans, lifestyle,hobbies etc. Do you believe in investment, and what do you prefer to invest in and what do you think are basic essential expenditure (list out. just eating out , clothing, etc won’t do). How much can we spend without checking with the other. and vice versa.

9.What are your bad, irritating, annoying habits which you wont change even for me.

10. What are the dates I should remember (Include family and friends important dates too.Write down and save it). What are the gifts I can buy and not buy. Is an utility item a gift? Are you sure you love suprises?

11.We all love net. Check the number of computers and the internet connections and also the sites the partner would visit and their net ids. (The nteractive websites list is particularly important. Who wants to complain, flirt etc , only to find out its your spouse). If both of you are bloggers -Agree to not visit the spouse blog and vice versa. No one likes criticism and there can never be enough of appreciation.

12.Do you know to cook? Do you clean after cooking? Who should cook when and ask them to be specific on their food preferences. Just Indian, Chinese won’t do. How many spoons of sugar in coffee, how spicy, how much oil, coconut whatever etc. (Better if each write down the specifications and negotiate.)

13.What is your favourite problem solving technique?
Astrologer, counsellor, family, friends, mag columns, ignore etc and mix and match them. Of course all problems are not similar. But be prepared for the techniques.

14.Can we discuss sex?

15.When to have children, and what each one of us should do for the child. (Discuss nappy changing, doing homework etc too. Not just being a role model for the child blah blah blah). And if any career adjustments should be made after having children.

Please note that all the points apply to men and women unless specifically excluded.But if all this is tough for you just ask think what you would like to do if you get 15 minutes of free time. And ask the other person to think and then tell. If it matches, go ahead. Hmmm sometimes thats all you get to spend with the person in a day.

Other Posts on Relationships
Tag Relationships

posted on Monday, November 15, 2004 3:06 PM

1. The Age
Of course each one has their own “age”. Sometimes we determine it, sometimes its parents,friends,relatives and the neighbour next door.
When you are sure the Age has arrived, look around but don’t decide unless you are sure of some other things too.

2. Wannabe
All the friends have got married. Surely I should too.
If your friend goes to a dentist, would you go too? Just because your friends do it doesn’t mean you should do it too or importantly that it is good for you.

3.I want to have sex
Variations I want more free sex,
or I am tired of waiting, I wish someone made love to me etc
Marriage is not just about sex, though its one of the main aspect in marriage. Marriage doesnt guarantee good sex though. And sex with a person you dislike is worse than no sex.

4.What will they say
If I go on waiting everyone will think there is something wrong with me or that I am an homosexual etc
Never ever do something only because otherwise people will “talk”. If not on your sexuality those who want to gossip, will gossip on something else. I agree its not pleasant when you seem to wait for eternity and you get proposals from the same sex. But hey you cant please all the people at all the time.
And I agree spinster is not as pleasant as bachleor but the society is not going to be there for you. Its your life.

5. I want more money
I want to improve my lifestyle. I will get a dowry if I marry or if I marry and be a homemaker I dont have to work etc
If you marry someone for money, be prepared that the other person will marry you for money too. And also be prepared that the spouse won’t stick with you when you go through sticky times.

6.I want to cash in on my looks
I wont deny that a person will get more proposals based on looks in their twenties than in their forties (unless you have some rare gene or visit the plastic surgeon). But if all you have to offer is looks, you won’t have it for eternity. And some better looking person can still come along. And if you find it tough to believe looks aren’t everything, think about Princess Di.

7. Hot!
Oh yeah fine if it is temporary. The person looks hot and if the way to spend some time with that person is marriage and even if it is temporary, why not?
Tell innocent divorcee and see the smirk.
The second hand tag is tough. And it will be tougher to convince your soul mate, of your commitment next time around. And if you think you are going to find endless queue of “hot”people, well even if you are rich, they are going to be interested in the riches not you.

8.I am lonely
Variations, I am bored (I have achieved all I want so why not try something new etc.), would be good to have someone around the house and share some chores and bring some money.
If you are lonely get a pet, If you are bored you need a hobby not a hubby, if you want someone to help around the house get a housekeeper, and a spouse might bring money but can also spend your money too.

9.Duty
Parents want to finish their duty, grandparents want to see their grandchild before they die etc. Variations, I want to do my duty to the human race.
Its your life and your relationship. Sure
you are eternally grateful to them. But show your gratitude in some other way. And regarding your duty to human race, pay your taxes and use less plastic and fuel etc.

10. I want to have fun on marriage day
Variations, I want to wear that dress (which one is supposed to wear on marriage date), be the center of attention etc
Throw a party and get some other dress. Sure in marriage someone else could bear the party expenses but if the marriage doesnt work, divorce lawyers are more expensive compared to the cost of couple of parties.

11.My boyfriend/girlfriend proposed
Dating is not the same as marriage. Everyone tries to be on the best behaviour during dates.Dating is similar to advertisements and Marriage is similar to maintainence and after sales service.

12. Good friends
Our families are good friends. The mate also is good looking and decent. (i.e
looks sane and no criminal history) Seems to be interested and our family is keen. Ok love can be develop after marriage too. But people are pleasant to strangers, dont take it as a guarantee. Refer to my earlier advise on dating too.

My parents didn’t have a problem. Why would I have?Try watching one channel for a day without remote control. Your parents watched Doordarshan and didnt complain, did they. Can you watch for 15 minutes a stuff you don’t like on TV? Our lifestyle has changed. We expect to make the best out of every moment in life. And your mate is going to expect the same too. Just be prepared for it.

Marriage is not a guarantee to make life better. It is not a Tablet which will cure for All your problems. But its like a Tonic which can Enhance your life.

PS : If you want to marry because you want to enter the records books on the number of marriages or because of a new reality tv programme, I really don’t know what to say other than Aaargh:)

posted on 1.10.2004 in funundersun.blogspot.com the first post in blogspot

No.
To use a metaphor.If there is a window display, its to attract the shopper, it will not justify a shopper stealing the stuff, and saying it was done only because it is displayed. Display doesnt mean its available.

But if you think I am wrong, and go ahead, beware ,many women might know a karate kick. And I would gladly use that story too in my post.

Now please dont say I objectified women, or say they have a price etc, I dont think the dude would have understood it if I had said ghar mein ma bahen nahin hai kya.

Dude dont dare,
to judge women by what they wear,
or because they choose to bare.
you might be lucky to escape with a glare
or on top of her voice loudly at
you she will swear
or you might have to escape from her heels pair
or worse your garments she might tear
Or worst might just kick you hard there, beware
Or even worse, you might end up in prison care

If you think this is unfair
It applies to females in your family too, so dont despair

And who said boys don’t cry. Why shouldn’t one express emotions instead of bottling them inside. And whats the harm in crying for help if one needs it? If he faces sexual harrassment at office, he will act against it too. Who said men care about only about sex, in any form? And its not about competing with women for “rights”,he can do the “duties” with elan too. He cares for his kid and thinks its cool to change nappies too! And woos his mate, not just by taking her to a fancy restaurant but by cooking at home and being proud of it too! And And who says only women can become a homemaker or a stay at home parent? He can compromise at times on career, for her too!

The New Age Female isn’t a Superwoman who can manage office and home on her own, and is not ashamed of admitting it either.And is the Metrosexual Male her ideal partner, even if he could compete with her for the mirror? Hmmm will there be ads mentioning Metrosexual Male seeks a life partner? of Female seeks Metrosexual Male life partner? Will the New Age Female prefer him? Well time will tell.

In India, though men are more conscious about some cosmetics, they do go easy on the make up part. Though we may not have a Beckham, remember the Raymond man who proves he is cool, not by having ten gorgeous models running after him, but by taking care of a kid.

The Metrosexual Male is not about wearing and doing what others don’t think is masculine, or wearing and doing Only what others think is feminine, but doing what he enjoys & still remaining Masculine. Men who prefer Self belief to Sterotypes, Men who think if they are Stylish or Sensitive, they are not being Sissy but being Sauve.

posted on Monday, November 22, 2004 1:55 PM in O3

Well here are 5 points you could consider…(and they are not about depleting ozone layer and rising oil prices)

Reason 1 : I can drive it to my office
Check 1 : Check if the office has a carpark and more importantly if you will be allocated a car park. (Imagine the office space required for 20 employees and the parking space required for parking even 10 cars, duh)

Reason 2 : I can drive my college friends around (from wannabe Janhavis)
Check 2 : And your parents will know your friends smoke. (if you don’t have friends who smoke or have an excellent freshner in car..how about you have “n number of friends” and all ns can’t fit inside the car and those who don’t fit in, will be angry and you will lose “n”-”those who fit in the car-1″ friends) (those who fit in the car – 2 if you intend to have a driver).

Reason 3 : Shopping will be a better experience. And there would be more space for shopping bags compared to autos/2wheelers/bus/trains(especially Mumbai trains)
Check 3 : No one is going to give a car owner any bargains (if you buy anything from the street). And you will have to shop not at the places you want, but only in those which have good car parks. And just because the mall has a car park, doesn’t mean you will get car parking space during weekends. And if you do get space to park, you will start wondering why its not crowded. If you think you can shop, and someone can drive around and will pick you up after your shopping. Think again. The car could be stuck in a traffic jam, with you carrying 3 big bags. (If you think you can get away with it, by offering to drive around. Think twice, no one would believe you were in the traffic jam and I don’t have to elaborate the consquences to you)

Reason 4 : It would be cool to visit friends and relatives in a car
Check 4 : Haven’t you seen the signs “Visitors are requested to park the car outside” in almost every building gate. And again, the road is going to be filled with cars on weekends (both parked and moving). And instead of visiting those whom you want to visit, you will start visiting those who have car parking spaces for you.

Reason 5 : .But it looks good with the neighbours and others. So what if other places may not have ample car parks, I have one. Let me buy it, park it and then see if what it says in this blog is realistic.
Check 5 : Sure. A car is a status symbol. But only a clean car. You may cover it, but still the dust does creep in. And did you calculate the buckets of water you need to clean a car. You are not going to win the neighbourhood popularity contest if you spend the scarse water on cleaning a car you don’t use.

To conclude, if you have booked a car park at the office, or if your “n number of non smoking , non beer/nail polish spilling friends” , exactly matches “the number which the car fits-1″ or if you all your favourite shops,relatives, friends have ample car parks, and you dont mind spending on car wash or mineral water for washing a car, go ahead buy the car.

I just wanted to make sure that, just because you want to go for a drive, the car manufacturers don’t take you for a ride.

And you can thank me for thinking about you/enriching your life with this excellent blog by, posting a comment mentioning the same. (Yes now you can post comments, it works!! And for those who prefer to post irrelevant comments, before you decide to vent the frustration of the last few days, on this blog, remember the �remove comments� button;) ). Perhaps if I used it to remove unflattering comments too, some might be tempted to post only praises. Hmmm;)

PS : For those who can’t believe I can be kindhearted and want to know if I have any hidden agenda against cars or if I would benefit economically from this post (As it happened when I suggested couple of NGOs in Read This Challenge in http://o3.indiatimes.com/funundersun ), all I want to say is there are 2 kinds of bloggers.
1. Those who are the “Boss” at the office and have ample time and access to internet and
2. Those who are unemployed, and hope that blogging will somehow earn them a Nobel Prize in Literature. (I strictly belong to the 2nd category).

posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 2:48 PM on O3

wait. whats the next best thing you can get in office?duh.

how about unlimited access to net?oh ok. not bad. can finally visit some suggested sites..
and…well also visit messageboards, chat rooms and blogs and give my opinions.

oh and your opinons, what will they be about?well you know my opinions. i may not go out and vote but for starters, i think the latest trend is Muslim bashing and..

STOP

huh?

well thats the reason I started this topic. what would you call a person who broke our law

criminal????

well do you know the law??sheesh get to the point.

Well if you read the Indian Penal Code, 153A says statements that promote enmity between religions are unlawful; 153B says the same about pronouncements that those who profess a given religion are traitors. punishment with imprisonment up to three years or fine or both. you are kidding!!

no.you can check http://www.helplinelaw.com/ and in bare acts section go to Indian Penal Code. I have copied it for you and have given it in the end.

you dont have free net and you research about this!! anyway what happened to freedom of speech and expression?

well every right has its responsibility and break the law , you face the law. and dont glare at me I didnt make the law

and all those bashing on the net???? why do the websites allow it?

done by those who don’t mind breaking the law. they think only when they are caught and prosecuted they should worry about it. or perhaps by ISI. it would be nice if the Indian Muslims believed Indian Hindus believe they are the Enemy No.1. and re websites, well i would like to know too. but if we delete all the messages, under these laws, what would be left, and who would care to comment?

well what if you believe , can’t you tell what you believe?

well if you think your belief is more important than the law, its your choice. But don’t forget you are breaking the law..********** (translates to remind me to never read this blog)

=======================
Indian Penal Code153A. Promoting enmity between different groups on grounds of religion, race, place of birth, residence, language, etc., and doing acts prejudicial to maintenance of harmony(1) Whoever-
(a) by words, either spoken or written, or by signs or by visible representations or otherwise, promotes or attempts to promote, on grounds of religion, race, place of birth, residence, language, caste or community or any other ground whatsoever, disharmony or feelings of enmity, hatred or ill-will between different religious, racial, language or regional groups or castes or communities, or
(b) commits any act which is prejudicial to the maintenance of harmony between different religious, racial, language or regional groups or castes or communities, and which disturbs or is likely to disturb the public tranquillity, 89[or]
89[(c) organises any exercise, movement, drill or other similar activity intending that the participants in such activity shall use or be trained to use criminal force or violence or knowing it to be likely that the participants in such activity will use or be trained to use criminal force or violence, or participates in such activity intending to use or be trained to use criminal force or violence or knowing it to be likely that the participants in such activity will use or be trained to use criminal force or violence, against any religious, racial, language or regional group or caste or community and such activity for any reason whatsoever causes or is likely to cause fear or alarm or a feeling of insecurity amongst members of such religious, racial, language or regional group or caste or community,]
shall be punished with imprisonment which may extend to three years, or with fine, or with both.
Offence committed in place of worship, etc- (2) Whoever commits an offence specified in sub-section (1) in any place of worship or in any assembly engaged in the performance of religious worship or religious ceremonies, shall be punished with imprisonment which may extend to five years and shall also be liable to fine.]
89[153B. Imputations, assertions prejudicial to national-integration(1) Whoever, by words either spoken or written or by signs or by visible representations or otherwise,-
(a) makes or publishes any imputation that any class of persons cannot, by reason of their being members of any religious, racial, language or regional group or caste or community, bear true faith and allegiance to the Constitution of India as by law established or uphold the sovereignty and integrity of India, or
(b) asserts, counsels, advises, propagates or publishes that any class of persons shall, by reason of their being members of any religious, racial, language or regional group or caste or community, be denied or deprived of their rights as citizens of India, or
(c) makes or publishes any assertion, counsel, plea or appeal concerning the obligation of any class of persons, by reason of their being members of any religious, racial, language or regional group or caste or community, and such assertion, counsel, plea or appeal causes or is likely to cause disharmony or feelings of enmity or hatred or ill-will between such members and other persons,
shall be punished with imprisonment which may extend to three years, or with fine, or with both.
(2) Whoever commits an offence specified in sub-section (1), in any place of worship or in any assembly engaged in the performance of religious worship or religious ceremonies, shall be punished with imprisonment which may extend to five years and shall be liable to fine.]